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Our Secret Practice

When (in meditation or otherwise) we label our ordinary thoughts, we simply notice them and let them go.  But our meta-thoughts (the judgments, comments and opinions we hold) require a different kind of attention. They reveal where and how we think we are broken, and what are our fantasies of being fixed or cured. These curative fantasies are the core of our “secret practice.” Becoming clear about our secret practice is the only path to true practice.

We imagine in our curative fantasies what we are missing and at the same time assign blame to ourselves, others or fate for why we have failed, and sometimes a wish — “If only . . . .” 

Our curative fantasies always contain within them another fantasy – the fictional story about how there is something wrong with us — a (usually secret) explanation for the way in which we are damaged, or unworthy, or cheated — as if the loss is therefore justified.  

— Abstracted from Barry Magid, Ending the Pursuit of Happiness: A Zen Guide
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